Resolution for the New Year

It’s funny how you can write something with complete conviction at one point in your life and read it years later to be completely surprised that it was you who wrote those things.

I have been following all these amazing women on social media who are very close to my age. They are breaking stereotypes, emerging as empowered entrepreneurs and corporate workers. I can’t help but be a little envious. My life these days revolves around managing mundane domestic chores and maintaining sanity with a devious little human following me 24/7.

Just last week I had my niece visiting me from Karachi and she asked me, appearing genuinely baffled, ‘What do you all day?’ and somehow telling her my day starts and ends with house chores and baby related work did not seem to be an interesting enough reply. My sister-in-law noticed my discomfort and distracted her daughter but this feeling of inadequacy has been a constant internal battle. I am in no way undermining all that SAHMs do but I somehow do not derive satisfaction from it anymore. I crave for something productive to do with my time- something that would bring to use my skill set and make me feel useful.

All of this brings me to this blog. I had created it last year and planned to document all the interesting experiences of my life through it. Little did I know that I would be welcoming a beautiful little human in this world so soon after who would occupy all my nights and days. With the tornado of vomits and soiled diapers followed with hours spent researching about healthy food recipes and educational toys, it has been a tough but extremely rewarding journey.

However, today, as I was questioning my self-worth and purpose of life, (I tend to go into such philosophical mode a couple of times a year) I suddenly got the idea of starting a blog. Funny thing this WordPress is. As I was filling the form I was informed that my email ID was already in use and BAM, I realized I already own a blog. After logging in, I read the only post that had been published and it left me wanting more. Thankfully I had a whole folder of unpublished articles in my laptop which I ended up reading. How different was life just two years ago! I was worrying about completely different things, had completely different priorities, (FIFA, really? I don’t even like football), and yet it all seemed so similar.

The one thing those posts from two years ago taught me was that I liked reading the thoughts of the younger me and therefore I will start actively blogging from now on because ten years down the road, I would like to know how far I have come.

I now know my new year’s resolution: Write, write and write some more.